Sep 1, 2026
More than half of adults say they feel lonely. Among young men, 27 percent say they do not have a friend at all. Dr. Tracy Brower has spent her career studying what work does to people, and her new book is about what happens when the relationships go missing.
This conversation starts with the research and then turns practical. Tracy explains how convenience removed the small interactions that used to hold us together, how many close friends a person can realistically keep up with, and what it takes to build a friendship as an adult when nobody is assigning you a locker anymore.
Brandon and Tracy also get into AI. Specifically, where the line sits between using it to save yourself some typing and handing over the parts of the job that carry trust. Tracy's distinction between cognitive offloading and cognitive surrender is worth the listen on its own.
For leaders, the last stretch is the most useful. Tracy argues that the best team bonding does not come from the escape room or the pasta making class. It comes from groups doing hard work together, which means connection is something you can build into how the work is structured rather than something you schedule.
About our guest
Dr. Tracy Brower is a sociologist and the vice president of workplace insights at Steelcase. She is a senior contributor at Forbes and a contributor to Fast Company and Newsweek. She is the author of Critical Connections: Build Relationships and Harness the Power of Community in Work and Life, along with The Secrets to Happiness at Work and Bring Work to Life by Bringing Life to Work. Tracy holds a PhD in sociology, a master of management in organizational culture, and a master of corporate real estate with a workplace specialization. This is not her first time on the show.
TIMESTAMPS
- 00:00 Why Brandon opens with his own friendship habits
- 01:35 Why connection needed its own book
- 03:10 Why loneliness is on an upward trend worldwide
- 04:55 How removing friction from daily life also removed the people
- 05:50 Why young men are the group struggling most
- 07:15 How to build a friendship when the job is remote
- 09:00 What close friendship does to physical and mental health
- 10:10 Why the youngest workers have the hardest time
- 12:20 Where AI crosses from cognitive offloading into cognitive surrender
- 15:40 How to use AI without losing your own voice
- 17:30 Whether the social media backlash is real
- 21:20 Why self-awareness comes before better relationships
- 23:05 What it actually takes to make a friend as an adult
- 25:35 How many close friends a person can realistically keep
- 29:10 How to start a conversation when the mixer terrifies you
- 33:00 Why work is where most people make their more diverse friends
- 34:45 What leaders can do to build connection into the work itself
- 37:30 Where to find Tracy and the book
A QUICK GLIMPSE INTO OUR PODCAST
Podcast: Transform Your Workplace, sponsored by Xenium
HR
Host: Brandon Laws
In Brandon's own words: "The Transform Your Workplace podcast is
your go-to source for the latest workplace trends, big ideas, and
time-tested methods straight from the mouths of industry experts
and respected thought-leaders."
About Xenium HR
Xenium HR is on a mission to transform workplaces by providing expert outsourced HR and payroll services for small and medium-sized businesses. With a people-first approach, Xenium helps organizations create thriving work environments where employees feel valued and supported. From navigating compliance to enhancing workplace culture, Xenium offers tailored solutions that empower growth and simplify HR. Whether managing employee relations, payroll processing, or implementing impactful training programs, Xenium is the trusted partner businesses rely on to elevate their workplace experience. Discover how Xenium can transform your workplace: Learn more
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